My Ex-Girlfriend Was Appointed as a Knight Commander

Chapter 92

Marion's consciousness faded into a blur.

Her mind was clouded, as if she were standing by a fog-covered lake at dawn, hindering any attempt to think clearly. No, in reality, Marion was standing by a mist-shrouded lake. This Marion by the lake was young—a child, yet untouched by the scars on the right side of her body. With bright blue eyes, Marion walked toward the water.

The dewy grass brushed against her feet. The cold, earthy texture under her bare, unshod feet was pleasantly comforting.

It felt like it had been a long time since she'd had a dream like this.

Even within her dream, Marion thought so. Ever since the accident, her dreams hadn’t been this bright. They usually felt like she was wandering through an endless maze, or observing vague, dark abstractions, often haunted by nightmares from her childhood.

"But since I met Maxim..."

Occasionally, Maxim would appear in her dreams. Dreams of times they had spent together. Gradually, her nightmares began to be replaced by such dreams.

An unexpected fiancé had changed many things—not just her dreams, but everything. The meaningless time that once passed her by had acquired the meaning of waiting. The letters Maxim sent showed her the world, and the gifts he brought became reminders of him.

"We're alike."

Maxim had shown her his darkness. Though he vaguely described it, Marion never asked him what kind of darkness it was. She feared that if she knew why he called himself a hypocrite, a horrible person, she might never be able to see him with the same innocent eyes again. She feared he might never treat her the same way if she saw all of his shadows.

Unable to take another step, Marion lingered. Maxim had crossed the line between them countless times. He’d reached out, he’d knocked on the walls.

And what about me?

Marion, now a child by the lake, crouched by the water. The lake was as calm as a mirror. She touched her fingers to her reflection, and ripples spread.

"Are you going to stay like that?"

Suddenly, Maxim was beside her, sitting with that faint smile on his face, cloaked in a black hood. Marion knew that face well. She knew that Maxim had always been the one to push her forward.

"What does staying mean?"

Her words, coming from her younger self, sounded different. In a childish lisp, Marion grumbled at Maxim, who was encouraging her. He laughed—not the usual bitter laugh, but a bright, untainted one. He looked younger, like a boy, and Marion watched him in wonder.

"It doesn't matter to me."

Marion frowned with displeasure at Maxim's words.

"What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?"

"It means that no matter what you decide to do, I won’t change."

Is that okay?

Maxim's smile, as if asking the question, was no longer clean.

"It'll be okay."

A woman’s voice spoke, one she recognized. Another version of herself, wearing a mask, sat down on her left.

"Even if you don’t change or move forward, Maxim will remain the same."

The voice was detached and calm. Marion faced herself, looking into the eyes of the mask-wearing woman who wasn’t smiling. Imagining the masked version of herself smiling felt impossible.

"He will continue to be there for you. He’ll empathize with you, cherish you, and always think of you. If anything happens, he might even bring you somewhere safe, just like now."

Just like now, he’ll take you somewhere safe and then disappear again.

The moment she spoke, the lake vanished. The young Marion disappeared, along with Maxim and her masked self.

Loss.

Marion was now at the mouth of a dark cave with no end in sight. The light left her eyes. Her black pupils ominously flickered with shadows that beckoned her in. She shook her head frantically, refusing.

A child who’s lost everything will never feel this sense of loss again. When something returned to her hands, it filled her heart. As it grew, filling the void and giving her more, she was finally able to look at what she had gained.

And when the one who had filled her heart disappeared.

When he left her behind, without even knowing whether he was alive or dead.

A dreadful sense of loss engulfed Marion. Like the gaping cave before her now, the hidden loss inside her grew, festered, and consumed her.

No.

What don’t you like?

I don’t want to lose Maxim. I hate that he could be hurt somewhere I don’t know. I hate that he could be injured over something I’m unaware of. I hate the idea of him leaving my side.

If I open my eyes, will he still be there?

Do you still wish for him to stay by your side without a word?

I...

The mouth of the deep darkness was shrinking. It was being filled with golden remnants, like fragments of someone’s eyes—a beautiful golden light filled with serene energy.

Don’t run away.

As if the light were speaking to her, Marion took a step forward.

When Marion opened her eyes again, it was night. The autumn sky was clear, and the bright moonlight spilled onto the street without hindrance. A cool night breeze brushed against her cheek, as if the window had been left slightly open. She recognized the room in the mansion that had been hers for months.

"...."

When she turned her head to the right, she saw a familiar silhouette leaning against the window. A black hood covering his entire face. Marion’s eyes trembled when she saw him.

"You’re awake."

The voice that came through the hood was unmistakably Maxim’s. When Marion tried to get up, Maxim, who had moved to her side without her noticing, gently pressed her back down.

"Stay lying down. You still need to rest. It’s late, so you can go back to sleep. It’s the middle of the night."

Marion looked at Maxim’s profile. She wanted to see his face hidden under the hood. Slowly, her hand reached for the edge of his hood.

Marion’s hand gently pulled the hood back, and Maxim didn’t resist.

A relief? Maxim furrowed his brows, confused.

"I just gave you the most impolite answer possible. If I were you, I would have started by slapping me."

"I had thought of worse responses, so it’s fine."

"Worse responses?"

"Like calling me a burden or saying I’m in the way."

Maxim’s expression hardened.

"I would never think of you like that. Did you really think you were just a hindrance to me all this time?"

"Well... maybe?"

How could you even think that? Maxim’s harsh tone made Marion smile again. What a beautiful smile, he thought, though he knew it was an unfit thought.

"Even if I had heard such an answer, what I want to say now wouldn’t change."

Marion added playfully. Maxim tilted his head, confused by her words.

"Maxim, don’t you want to know how I feel about you, now that you’ve told me what you think of me?"

Ah.

Maxim saw her trembling eyes. She was finally breaking down the last barrier he couldn’t. She was now facing him with nothing to hide.

"I like you."

Her voice shook as she conveyed her courage, expressing untainted sincerity.

"I want you to look at me. I don’t want us to be engaged only because of political ties; I want us to be people who can truly walk forward together. Yes. Simply put."

Marion looked at Maxim. Her voice no longer trembled. Her heart-pounding confession transformed into a radiant smile.

"Maxim Apart, I love you."

In that moment, Marion shone brighter than anything in this world.

"Even though I look like this...."

Marion trailed off, reaching for her face, then suddenly froze as if she had turned into a statue.

The mask.

She couldn’t feel the mask that always covered her right side. She should have noticed, but she’d been too caught up in the moment.

What do I do? All this time, I was showing this hideous face...

Marion’s face turned pale, her thoughts swirling. At the very least, she wanted to say those words looking her best...

At that moment, she felt Maxim’s fingers touch her face gently. Her cheeks, which had turned white, suddenly flushed red.

"No, Maxim...! Not now...! Don’t look at my face...."

She wanted to hide, overwhelmed by embarrassment, until she heard the sound of a gentle exhale.

Before she knew it, she was enveloped in Maxim’s arms. He smelled like grass. Marion’s eyes widened, and she flailed her hands briefly before stopping.

"Now you can’t see, right?"

"Y-yes..."

Maxim’s playful response left Marion mumbling. Embarrassment and happiness blended, paralyzing her tongue.

"I didn’t care at all, but since you’re self-conscious."

"Please don’t. I’m really embarrassed."

When Maxim teased her, Marion responded with a voice that sounded close to tears. He smiled and continued speaking.

"Sorry I couldn’t give you an answer right away."

"...I didn’t expect an immediate answer anyway."

Maxim chuckled at her defiant response. Marion pouted, her cheeks puffing in irritation.

"I’ll wait until I get the answer I want."

"Yes. After everything is over."

Maxim took out the item he’d been hiding and placed it on her hand.

"The one you used before was broken."

Marion accepted the mask and smiled.

"Didn’t you say you didn’t care?"

"You seemed so embarrassed."

Marion put on the mask Maxim had given her. Black. It was a different color from the white one she had always worn, but she liked it very much.

"Thank you."

"...For what?"

She would begin anew.

Marion now faced the world beyond the walls she had broken down.

What I can do.

She thought as she looked at Maxim. A new resolve was growing within her gaze.