Super Zoo

Chapter 335 Civilized Law Enforcement (Four Updates)

"You're still being arrogant? I'm going to smash you to death!" Suming held a panda above his head with both hands, ready to smash it down on You, the panda flailing its limbs and screaming "ah ah ah" in midair.

"Stop!" He Baowen decisively blocked Suming.

"Madam, can you drop the misplaced compassion? We only have one hour left. Are you still planning to ask questions politely?" Suming could only put down the panda. He first flipped You the bird, then told He Baowen, "I've seen a lot of these types. If you don't get tough, it won't work! If you talk to him nicely, he won't understand. Beat him into a pig's head first, then he'll behave!"

In movies like "Prison Storm," "Blues of Jiang," and "Tales of Lai Lok," there are always scenes of coercion before the interrogation. Suming wanted to see it firsthand. Maybe this stern policewoman would come up with some fresh tactics, like donning a leather suit, stepping into high heels, and strutting onto the scene with a little whip...

A twitch appeared at the corner of He Baowen's mouth. How she wished she could hit him!

If time went back thirty years, coercive interrogation was Xiangjiang Police's foolproof strategy. The police station had more tortures than the dungeons, with things like the top ten brutal Qing Dynasty tortures being no big deal.

"Cough cough... We have to enforce the law civilly, according to the regulations!" He Baowen coughed, her complexion somewhat abnormal.

Seeing her expression, Suming guessed most of it and leaned in close to whisper in her ear, "Madam, are we not allowed to use coercive interrogation?"

He Baowen instinctively turned her cheek away as Suming leaned in, but seeing that he had no "excessive" moves, and was merely coming close to talk, she tensed up slightly, coughed again to mask her embarrassment, then similarly leaned in close to Suming's ear and whispered very softly, "What do you think? This scum, I wish I could stomp him to death with high heels! But now the interrogations are recorded, and the higher-ups have ordered it three times, saying no torture is allowed or the consequences will be severe..."

After speaking, she added a little resentfully, "Even if we take him back to the police station for punishment now, we wouldn't have enough time!"

The two whispering to each other left the other officers exchanging glances. What was going on? Did Madam still have the mood to flirt with a pretty boy?

"Ah, I got it..." Suming nodded thoughtfully, then suddenly asked, "What if, I mean if, the one who acts isn't human?"

"What?" He Baowen blinked, utterly confused.

"Like, what if he got injured by the panda during the kidnapping? That would explain things, right? Remember, pandas are wild beasts!"

After saying that, he patted the head of the panda that was nearly climbing up to his waist and asked it, "You're very ferocious, aren't you?"

"Ah!" The panda cooperated by opening its mouth wide, swinging its head and roaring at He Baowen, but no matter how you looked at it, there wasn't a hint of ferocity. It looked more like... like a chubby kid yawning with its mouth wide open.

"Ah ah ah!" The panda shook its head around and, seemingly shy, suddenly raised a paw to cover its face, then burrowed into Suming's embrace with its head lowered.

"This... This..." He Baowen was dumbfounded. Was this supposed to be ruthless? Then wouldn't Teletubbies be world-destroying demons?!

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"Don't worry, I'm a Beast Tamer, remember? Take your team and leave, give me ten minutes, and I'll handle it!" Suming was brimming with confidence.

He Baowen took a step back, staring at Suming for several seconds.

Suming was holding a panda in one hand and cradling another in his arms. Both pandas were cuddling against him, creasing his already lightweight summer clothes, making him look like a refugee out begging with two kids.

"Are you sure?"

Yingying turned its head around, then with a twist of its behind climbed onto a small tree nearby, nearly two meters tall, shaking the branches vigorously like Tarzan and letting out a 'roar'. Immediately after, it jumped down from the tree.

There was thick grass and soil below, and the panda seemed a bit clumsily as it landed, keeping a sitting position, its hefty body pressing heavily on the ground, causing the land to tremble slightly.

Pandas are tough and resilient; climbing trees and sometimes falling from them are common occurrences, sometimes even a part of their playful antics. Lele didn't care much, shook its head, got up, and then looked eagerly at You's belly, ready to take action.

The ground where it had just sat showed a noticeable irregular circular indentation.

"If someone were lying there, I wonder if it could squash anything out of them!" Suming curiously looked at You lying on the ground, his hands miming an explosion, his mouth producing a "duang!" sound effect.

You's face had turned ashen, his teeth clenched, silent. He realized that this guy wasn't joking around—the pandas would indeed listen to him!

If he really ended up disabled or with internal injuries from the pandas...

"Wait a minute, wait a minute..."

"It seems you're still holding on to a glimmer of hope!"

Suming was having too much fun to give You a chance to speak, totally ignoring him, with a look of feigned sorrow, he turned to the pandas: "Seems like this person really needs to experience the power of Kung Fu Panda firsthand. Which one of you wants to go?"

Without hesitation, both pandas charged forward.

"Oh, excellent idea, that's what I call attacking from both sides!" Suming nodded emphatically.

...

Outside the Panda Pavilion, time ticked away slowly, He Baowen kept checking her watch as every second felt unbearably long. An older police officer next to her spoke in a concerned whisper, "Madam, nothing has gone wrong, right?"

He Baowen raised her brows, "I promised him ten minutes, there's less than five minutes left! The moment time is up, no matter the result, we bring him back..."

She hadn't finished speaking when the bamboo door behind her creaked open. Suming walked out jovially, "Madam, don't say I'm not punctual, it's only been six minutes. Done! He's willing to cooperate!"

"How's the suspect?" He Baowen asked as she briskly passed by Suming, leading a group of officers into the garden.

They saw You still lying by the poolside, with some blood on his face but no other apparent injuries.

Two pandas, one at each side, squatted beside him. The claws that rarely came out were unsheathed, looking like blades hovering over You's belly, as if contemplating where to strike.

Meanwhile, a Haidong Qing perched on You's head, its beak looming over his face, just one peck away from potentially gouging out his eyes.

"I'll cooperate! I'll cooperate! I'll tell you everything! Just get these animals away from me!" You, seeing the police officers, was more relieved than if he had seen his own kin, his hoarse voice tinged with a hint of crying.

The officers exchanged incredulous looks between You and Suming, then back at You again. He Baowen stammered for a moment before asking, "You... He... How did this..."

"I didn't hit him." Suming shrugged indifferently: "I've said it before; this kind of person doesn't understand human language. They need animals to do the talking."